"Thou art Goddess." The Priest anointed her, being careful not to remove the make-up covering her bruises. Bruises he had placed on her only the night before.

It has been two years since I last had to perform that ritual. Two years since the last time I was the vicim of domestic violence. Two years since I last had to find the awkward excuses for strange cut on the inside of my lip, or creatively explain away a loud "argument" from the night before. Two years.

My new partner asked me if my abuser was still here. Asked me if I knew how far I had come.

"No."

Those events still live in the shadows. Still haunt my dreams and cloudmy ability to think some days. Though physically away from me, me abuser is still a very real part of my life.

The acceptance of what had happened, the tears that would offer the healing needed to move beyond, have been slow in their coming. My mentor atour local shelter for battered women assures me I'm doing fine. Some days I doubt her sanity.

Every Fifteen seconds a woman is battered in the USA. That is a statistical abomination. It accounts for reported physical abuse, nothing more. It does not reflect what happens when a victim is terrorized, humiliated or bullied. It does not come anywhere near the reality of magickal threats. It cannot. The numbers would be too high. It would make the Burning Times and the Holocaust combined pale. yet it is real.

We practice magick. We build walls of blue light around ourselves to keep out those things we do not wish to have near us. We send each other positive energy to keep away those things that have no place in our lives. Healing magick is offered without a thought, beyond "let me help you."

But those spells are easily broken with a slap to the face. Or a hand choking a neck or worse. There are no spells that will prevent an act such as rape. No chants printed in our local newsletters, no tapes that will teach us the secret mantra to block a chair being destroyed inches from us. No oils sold at the local occult shop to filter out the violence.

And even fewer chants for healing the wounds.

Fewer still are the safe places inside this Pagan Community for a victim to go and be heard. We as a community say that we venerate the Goddess, revere the God. If this is true then why are so many of our women being battered? How can we, who claim to have an awareness beyond the mundane, whoclaim to be psychic, be so blind to the truth?

The answer is not all that complex. We are not different from the rest of society. It wasn't that long ago that we acknowledged that we had the same kinds of substance abuse problems as the world at large. We offered healing to victims of rape & incest. In both cases, with open hearts and minds. No accusations of the victims having asked for the abuse, the addict having carefully plotted their addictions. So why in the face of domestic violence do we turn away?

Perhaps the reason is because the violence is being generated inside ourcommunity and it is far too painful for any of us (including the victims) to face. Domestic violence is different and far removed from other forms of abuse. A victim of domestic violence has to face the abuse as well as the reality that they chose their partner. No matter how many times they are reminded of that, no one enters into a relationship with the thought of "now I'm going to be abused. What a relief." It doesn't remove the feeling of failure in having made what now appears to have been a poor choice.

Worse still is that when a victim points at an abuser from inside the community, they are risking harming the community as a whole. "Nice witches don't beat each other." It's bad magick.

But Nice witches do indeed beat each other. Nice witches do abuse each other. And all the magickal chants and potions in the world will not protect the victim from falling blows.

So what can we do? What healing can be offered?

In order for the healing to begin, we have to accept that domestic violence does happen here, in this community. Victims must be believed. They must be given a safe space to find the strength to heal. In their own time, not ours.

We do not need to create our own shelters. There are shelters that exist in the world already. We do not need to create tribunals to hear the cases and judge the truth. We do not need to council the partners into healing the relationship.

We need to learn to listen. We need to hear the truth, and act on it. Abuse must not be tolerated or accepted. Abusers must be given a place to find their own healing, to offer less would be inhuman. Within that space abusers must be removed from other potentially abusive situations. We must be certain the victims are safe from further harm. That must come first.

More importantly, we must look each other in the eye and say:

"Thou art Goddess. Thou art God." And really mean it.

Gwyddion once wrote, "We won't wait any longer. We are stronger than before."

May those words guide other victims to their strength to get to safety. And my they give this community the strength it will need to help itself heal.

Permission to reprint this article is granted by the author provided the article is copied without changes. For more information on what you can do to help stop domestic violence in your area contact the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 202-638-6388, or your local shelter.

-- From Witch's Brew's Super Issue '96
This article first appeared in the Winter 1994 issue of Silver Chalice. Thanks to them for permission to reprint.

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